Have you ever thought of mapping your life in parallel, to the life you would have had, if you had chosen the “what ifs” of your life.
Map it from the time you were born, make a timeline of the crucial moments or events in your life. Where you felt you were at a crossroad and there was a choice. Sometimes the choice was not yours to make, as life just happened….
So where will you be now? Will you be somewhere better or worse? Are you more fulfilled and happier?
Take your time write it or draw it, like the branches of a tree… Let the forks symbolise the paths that laid before you…
But remember each time you alter the path taken, now with foresight. You also alter the choices for the next crucial moments. This includes the favourable outcomes in your life and even the presence of people you love and who love you in your life. Are you okay with that?
Basically your two lives will continue parallely, without ever merging.
It is easy to fantacise and procastinate about the what ifs, especially where there are heavy regrets. But sometimes it is through a painful experience, you were led to your profound moments and the people in your life who gave it meaning.
Well having said all this, to this day there is one regret in my life that I would change if I could travel back in time. This regret plagued me for a long time but even now a tiny part of me thinks altering the past incident would still not affect how my future turned out.
The question I’m likely to face if I alter the incident, is would I have married my husband and become a mother?
This event brought the walls down on me and as a result it made me take full ownership of my life.
So what if this incident didn’t occur?… Well, I feel there was a likely chance I would have run away when I realised I was falling in love with my husband, whom I was just friends with at that time.
I was done with having my heart broken. Even if I didn’t run, I’m not sure I would’ve had the strength to withstand the storm from others, especially his parents.
This incident made me learn two valuable lessons:
- not to live life from the sidelines, and
- ultimately only you are responsible for your life.
So now days, however enticing, I try and avoid thinking about the “what ifs” in my life. I live my life with all my history and with less regrets, because they have made me who I am today.