Observe your “self talk”
Have you heard of this term before?
It is simply the conversations you have with yourself on a daily basis, the unspoken dialogue ….
Based on the nature of your conversation, it has a major impact on your mental well-being. The power of thoughts though intangible have a strong tangible impact on our lives.
Naturally the ones to watch out for are the negative ones, not just the ones directed at others especially where you are judging others, but equally or more damaging, are the perceptions you hold of yourself … the name calling.
Most of us have heard the term “you are your own worst critic”, there is so much truth to it and sadly it has consequences.
This why the below quote is one of my favorite…how profound.
“You can’t win in your life, if you are losing in your mind ” Anonymous
I used to be really good at listening and observing, this self talk. But in the last few years, I had neglected it and slowly a certain dialogue started to become an underlying theme. Sadly not a good one… Of course the situation I found myself as I have been told certainly had a lot to do with it.. Being first time parents…
I have been critical at myself before and have had failures but through awareness and the will to be happy I rebuilt myself each time. But this journey has been a whole different ball game. Each time you figure it out and feel some what on top of it, in regard to being a good parent … It all changes 😊 Because your children are evolving faster than you are learning and worse their nature is temperamental especially the toddler years. To top it off becoming a mum unearthed in me some fears and insecurities that I thought I had sorted out already.
The other part of this journey is doubting your parenting decisions. Because in this day and age, the one thing we have in abundance is information, most of which is useless and at our fingers tips. You can just about google anything. ..Right? This also adds to doubting yourself.
Then you see other parents and there is plenty of advice being thrown around and comparisons….. We certainly have made parenting so complicated.
For me when I started doubting myself in this role and being unaware I started doubting myself in other areas. Then I found myself in moments where anxiety and fear was so overwhelming, that I could not recognize the person staring back at me in the mirror.
Then I truly began missing the old me and a voice tried to speak, nearly muffled by all the noise in my head. “I am here” it said and I recognized something strong in that voice. This is when I observed, most of the noise – the chatter, was full of criticism and it had become the norm.
But this recognition wasn’t enough, I had to take the brave step of acknowledging my fears and insecurities and looking at their root cause.
I am finding myself again. Learning to accept the journey of parenthood, for what it is. Accepting what my sisters often point out, that I am too harsh on myself as a parent.
Most importantly being kind to myself in my dialogue within….Reminding myself I am in charge at least in regard to my inner mechanics!