I am having a bit of ‘writers block’, if I can call it that. I want to write, but not sure about what.
I took sometime out from blogging due to various reasons and now I am back feeling a little empty.
It partly may be due to the fact, I have been on 3 courses of antibiotics, which has zapped some of my creative juices 😁
I am at a weird point in my life…i have never been here before. I question a lot of things, some things I held sacred are losing their place.
On the spiritual journey it is good to question, as then only you can pierce through the veils to unravel the supposed truth, this I have read and heard from some wise people. But when events occur, sweeping away like a hurricane, some of the foundations of your beliefs and faith, it is hard to see the above purpose. It makes me actually angry. Then sad…Because I thought I had found some unchanging fundementals to build my faith and beliefs on.
Don’t be mistaken, I don’t need life to be pretty roses down the garden path or neatly gift wrapped with a pretty bow.
I have had my fair share of pain. I not only survived but my faith in the higher power or aka God and it’s spark in me brought me, much strength and joy.
But now sometimes I question this higher power, when life seems so random in its cause and effect. These life changing events I have witnessed lately is not even in my life but those close to me.
It has shaken me… Why? Because these events don’t fit the equation of cause and effect of what I can see on the physical plane.
I know there are many unknowns at play in this universe, that I may never become aware of.
So how to move on with life, assemble the fragments of pieces that is your beliefs, faith and life that lie around you. Firstly you move on because time waits for no one. Secondly because survival and hope are our two strong innate drivers as human beings.
But like many of you I thrive on meaning for most things. A purpose, a goal and examples of good defeating the bad; love, faith and hope overcoming all the obstacles thrown at it. Even when I was in my pain, these true stories inspired and motivated me to keep trying after many failures. Others happiness fuled my drive. But now around me, when I see pain, hardship and broken lives. At times it makes it hard for me to be positive or inspired.
All this has brought me to a conclusion, that my need to find meaning and things to make sense is the issue. So I won’t seek it. Life need not make sense, it need not be put in a neat little equation.
I can only live my life from where I am now, who I am and who I strive to be. On the way my beliefs may change and I will see life’s ugly face enough times, that sometimes hope for the better may look bleak.
But ultimately I like the version of me who has hope, faith and who is centered within more than the hopeless and disheartened one. Yes I will be latter once in awhile, wallow in anger, sadness and pity. But I cannot stay there too long.
Ultimately spirituality is about living a happier life for yourself and the effect of it spreading to others. I am no longer seeking “equanimity or detachment” as I used to. Nor the undefinable goal of ” liberation”, which I don’t think I ever did.
There are so many things in the world, that we are not in control of. But there are tools to dealing with it and how we react or respond to them.
Quotes time 😊
” Feel the feeling. Don’t become the emotion. Witness it. Allow it and Release it. ” Wachabuy. com
Key tool on this path I feel is your mind. It is the problem giver and the solver, how we manage it decides “Your World”. Because yes most of it is from your perception of things, people and situations around you.
Another quote 😊
” It all begins and ends in your mind. What you give power to has power over you, if you allow it ” Anonymous
So to sum it up “Live your life to be a good example of what you believe ” Robert D Hales. That’s all we can do…