I am having a bit of ‘writers block’, if I can call it that. I want to write, but not sure about what.
I took sometime out from blogging due to various reasons and now I am back feeling a little empty.
It partly may be due to the fact, I have been on 3 courses of antibiotics, which has zapped some of my creative juices 😁
I am at a weird point in my life…i have never been here before. I question a lot of things, some things I held sacred are losing their place.
On the spiritual journey it is good to question, as then only you can pierce through the veils to unravel the supposed truth, this I have read and heard from some wise people. But when events occur, sweeping away like a hurricane, some of the foundations of your beliefs and faith, it is hard to see the above purpose. It makes me actually angry. Then sad…Because I thought I had found some unchanging fundementals to build my faith and beliefs on.
Don’t be mistaken, I don’t need life to be pretty roses down the garden path or neatly gift wrapped with a pretty bow.
I have had my fair share of pain. I not only survived but my faith in the higher power or aka God and it’s spark in me brought me, much strength and joy.
But now sometimes I question this higher power, when life seems so random in its cause and effect. These life changing events I have witnessed lately is not even in my life but those close to me.
It has shaken me… Why? Because these events don’t fit the equation of cause and effect of what I can see on the physical plane.
I know there are many unknowns at play in this universe, that I may never become aware of.
So how to move on with life, assemble the fragments of pieces that is your beliefs, faith and life that lie around you. Firstly you move on because time waits for no one. Secondly because survival and hope are our two strong innate drivers as human beings.
But like many of you I thrive on meaning for most things. A purpose, a goal and examples of good defeating the bad; love, faith and hope overcoming all the obstacles thrown at it. Even when I was in my pain, these true stories inspired and motivated me to keep trying after many failures. Others happiness fuled my drive. But now around me, when I see pain, hardship and broken lives. At times it makes it hard for me to be positive or inspired.
All this has brought me to a conclusion, that my need to find meaning and things to make sense is the issue. So I won’t seek it. Life need not make sense, it need not be put in a neat little equation.
I can only live my life from where I am now, who I am and who I strive to be. On the way my beliefs may change and I will see life’s ugly face enough times, that sometimes hope for the better may look bleak.
But ultimately I like the version of me who has hope, faith and who is centered within more than the hopeless and disheartened one. Yes I will be latter once in awhile, wallow in anger, sadness and pity. But I cannot stay there too long.
Ultimately spirituality is about living a happier life for yourself and the effect of it spreading to others. I am no longer seeking “equanimity or detachment” as I used to. Nor the undefinable goal of ” liberation”, which I don’t think I ever did.
There are so many things in the world, that we are not in control of. But there are tools to dealing with it and how we react or respond to them.
Quotes time 😊
” Feel the feeling. Don’t become the emotion. Witness it. Allow it and Release it. ” Wachabuy. com
Key tool on this path I feel is your mind. It is the problem giver and the solver, how we manage it decides “Your World”. Because yes most of it is from your perception of things, people and situations around you.
Another quote 😊
” It all begins and ends in your mind. What you give power to has power over you, if you allow it ” Anonymous
So to sum it up “Live your life to be a good example of what you believe ” Robert D Hales. That’s all we can do…
Apologies Richa for the delay… Work, life, holiday and getting sick has kept me away from my blog in the last few weeks 😕
This is going to be interesting… letting you see inside of my head OMG. 😉
Thank youRicha whowritesiscriblr for tagging me, check out her website it’s a fun and informative. She is a very vibrant being.
How do I feel at the moment?
Exhausted busy weekend with B-Day parties. One of it was for my little one. I baked & made a Princess cake for the 1st time for those who know me that’s major 😉. Answer as of 19/5.
What do I need more in my life?
Time & undisturbed sleep for 7 hours each night 😁
What would make me happy right now?
A holiday to an island paradise… Actually just went on one… Exactly what I needed but came back and got really sick. Erghh hate winter.
What is going right in my life?
Many things and I am grateful.
What am I most grateful for? List 10 things.
The higher power and it’s spark within me.
My daughter – who is cause of my physical & mental tiredness but most importantly my Joy.
My husband – He sees me in my full glory. Both good & bad, loves & accepts me for who I am.
My family for their love and support.
My handful of friends
My home and my beautiful backyard.
Taking ownership of my life and faith that the impossible at times can be possible.
Ability to give and share with those in need.
My blog. It has given an expression to my thoughts and experiences. Being able to share it and with some cool people!
When did I experience joy this week?
Seeing my daughter’s face when she saw the Cinderella B-Day cake I made her. As at 19/5
List a small victory/success?
Finally starting this blog after few years of pondering on it.
What is bothering me & why?
I wish at times I could get out of my head and be present more.
What are my priorities at the moment?
My physical, mental and spiritual health.
What do I love about my self?
I didn’t give up on life, love & joy.
Who means the world to me & why?
My grateful list above. Why? Because each one is a piece of the puzzle, which makes my life. How they fit and come together gives it meaning.
If I could share one message with the world, what would it be? Be kind to yourself and as many others as you can. Please smile.
What advice would I give to my younger self?
Your uniqueness is your strength. Don’t settle for what you’re expected to have or to be.
What lesson did I learn this week?
Get out of your head and roll with punches.
If I had all the time in the world, what would I do first?
Travel the world.
What’s draining my energy?
To do lists!
What does my ideal morning look like?
Sleeping in, cup of tea and brunch at our favorite cafe.
What makes me come alive?
A good book, an inspirational quote or a life experience or real life story that holds wisdom.
What/who inspires me the most?
Human kindness and love. Above, my blog.
Where does my pain originate?
The atrocities and violations we as humans do to each other.
What are my strengths? Loyalty, loving, kindness, not letting what others think affect what I truely want.
What is something I’ve always wanted but too scared to get? Tattoo
What is something I would love to learn again ? Bharatha Natiyam – traditional South Indian dance. I used to be crazy about it when I was young.
Where would I want to live my ideal life?
Right here… Not having to work 9 to 5. Having enough money to pursue writing and helping those in need. Winning the lottery would be useful.
Where would I like to travel in the next 5 years? Vietnam, Maldives, Egypt, Europe again different parts.
What can I do to take better care of myself? Exercise, being present and reduce the noise in my head at times.
What hobbies would I like to try?
Yoga, writting and furniture makeover. Revamp old stuff into new home decor or furniture.
When have I done something that I thought I couldn’t do? Hadachild.
At the end of my life, what do I want my legacy to be? That I made people feel that they mattered and that I cared.
Sorry no one, not because I don’t want to know what’s in the heads of some people butbecausemy delayed response has broken the chain 😕
So let it end here…
1 Thank & tag the person that has tagged you
2 Attach the tag photo
3 Answers the ‘The Inside My Head Tag’ questions
4 Tag 10-20 friends.