Happy Father’s Day

Yesterday was Father’s Day in Australia. It always falls on the first Sunday in September.

My husband enjoyed a delicious breakfast – French Toast, with homemade blueberry compote, sliced banana and a small dollop of ice cream cooked by moi of course. Pretty lucky guy huh😊

I got to celebrate this day also with other special man in my life, my Dad. He along with my mum have been the pillars of strength and support through my life. Their love in so many ways so unconditional. My dad has always been the protector of our family. I always felt safe because he was around. He gave us a good foundation in life in regard to integrity and morals that has guided his children through our lives.

He learnt this from his father. My grandfather who was the embodiment of truth, love and integrity. He sacrificed so much for his family but never spoke of it as such because of the joy he derived from it I think. He was probably one of the calmest people I have ever known. I had the privilege of growing up with him through my childhood.

I guess this is what these days are meant to be… Not a cliche. It’s about celebrating and valuing family and also remembering the family even if they are not physically here. They never leave our hearts and become ingrained within parts of who we are.

Freedom of expression tag – Beauty.

Beauty thank you Richa for creating this creative tag. Please click “ping back” to visit her post and site.

We are surrounded each day with messages of what is beautiful. These images are on Magazines, billboards, movies, TV, social media and advertisments telling you how you can attain it.

Women are impacted more by what the world expects us to be visually, than men. But this is changing for men also.

Though aware, “Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder”..Its hard in a world consumed by superficiality.

Especially for the young ones, who unlike ever before are bombarded with a definition of Beauty from such a young age.

We have all been there and most of us are still there fighting it and yielding to it, at the same time.

There is nothing wrong in wanting to be beautiful, who doesn’t want to be but at what cost, so define it in your terms and not by the society”s expectations.

Start by becoming comfortable in your skin, I know its easy to say…But essentially it is the only way.

The confidence which comes from this, will turn the flaws that you see in the mirror into your unique beauty .

Weekly Photo challenge

An Old brass oil flask and pewter plate probably 40+ years old. Looking a little tired but holds a memory of an amazing woman, my great aunt. She was a collector of many things.

She went beyond being known as the wife of a renowned Singapore High Court Chief Justice in 1970’s to leaving a mark in Singapore by building a Service project which provided home for the Aged who no longer had a home and most sadly were abandoned by their family.

FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION” Tag! BELIEVE!

Believe thank you Richa for creating this creative tag. Please click “ping back” to visit her post and site.

I believe we are our own creation.

Our inner thoughts begin to mirror us, no matter how we hide it.

So watch those thoughts and feelings…And think about those you entertain.

If you feel small then so will you be, to yourself and the World…

However you try to hide behind all that exterior superficial gloss or the superior complexity of an alter ego.

Know what dictates your inner world.

Don’t leave it to others or to material possessions or your status quo.

Know you alone dictate your inner world…

You are the witness and judge.

Something loved, said, read & learnt..about parenting – July edition

Sharing 4 somethings

Thank you Laurie for motivating me with your post on Four Something, who writes https://meditationsinmotion.wordpress.com and Heather Gerwing for her “Four Somethings” for such a beautiful idea. In between I know August has begun but the post is still about July 😊

Something loved was my dayoff with my daughter last week,the 40 minutes lying in her bed and listening to her imagination run wild…It was so relaxing and not the usual part of my day with her. I always think she needs crafty and energetic activities to keep her engaged. But that day she surprised me because Madam woke at 4 am and did not want to sleep… Her antics tired my husband plenty. When I took over around 6.30 am, she was bouncing off the wall. I thought the day was going to be a nightmare. In the end, most of the day was a good because I was engaging with her mentally one to one.

Something read

Being a parent is one of the hardest roles we take on in our life, both emotionally and physically. A role where you are second guessing yourself in regard to whether you are doing a good job. One of the toughest stage, as many of you will agree is when they are toddlers.

My child is one of those determined, full of energy being. She is challenging and I often comment on how she is a handful. Then I read this awesome article last week, which has given me a better perspective. Below is an extract from it:
Like 10 percent of all children, Mackenzie, a sweet, loving boy, is what is known as a “spirited child.” These are the kids we refer to as “challenging,” “strong-willed” or worse — traditionally they’ve been slapped with labels like “difficult” or “problem child.” Spirited children may be more intense, more persistent and more energetic than average. “These kids live life bigger and bolder than other kids,” says Michael Popkin, author ofTaming the Spirited Child. This can mean they’re enthusiastic and determined. But when they’re little, this temperament often translates into behaviour that’s frustrating for parents — for example, a baby who screams when you don’t hold him, a toddler who never sits still

It’s natural for a parent to wonder: ‘Did I do something to make him act that way?’ But parents need to know it’s not their fault that their child is spirited,” says Sara King, a child psychologist at the IWK Health Centre in Halifax. “It’s just the way that genetics and environment mix up in that particular child.”

https://www.todaysparent.com/kids/how-to-raise-an-overactive-child/

Parents of spirited kids can learn how to manage this temperament. And as your child gets more independent, he’ll start doing these tricks to help himself. “Right now it’s driving you crazy,” says Popkin. “But if that child learns to use those traits constructively, they’ll be real assets for the child in the future.”

This is also my something learnt. After reading the above article I realised my daughter is one of the 10% of children labelled as “challenging” “difficult” “naughty”. I realised that I have been part of the label slapping especially with my daughter. Which is not fair on children like these or any other children with any other conditions which make them different to the supposed ‘norm’. Because we already set them up for failures as they cannot meet the supposed behavior of a “normal” child(said with much sarcasm) . I feel me labelling her, might have also paved the pathway for others to “label” her. I felt sad by this revelation.

Raising children like my daughter is hard work and takes up most of mine and my husband’s energy. But after reading these articles, it is no longer going to mentally burden me. As I realise my expectations of her behavior and how I tackle dramas need to change. Because unlike before when she was naughty, I didn’t understand why? and often frustrated, I took her behavior personally. Now I know that’s not the case. This and other related articles provide examples of parenting style that make sense to these kids. For example anger & threat does not work instead direct logical consequence. Practising this in the last few days, I see her listening.

It is interesting like all things in life, change in perspective makes such a difference. It is nothing to be diagnosed, only embraced by us firstly as her parents and to see the world from her 3 year old eyes.

I will finish this with something said, a beautiful quote my husband found and said to me.

In reference to below quote. What makes my daughter, magical and full of life is her social, bubbly nature, her ability to tell stories full of expressions & emotions, her love for music and dancing and her determination to figure out how things work, often painful to us as parents. Her creative play using the not the obvious props and her humour when she mimics me when I’m being serious ” are you kidding me mummy? “😁

How your eyes shine…

As a child I wanted to accumulate variety of experiences life had to offer.Thrill of what awaits each day always the motivator, on my path of discovering the world.

I see that in my daughter’s eyes…. It is beautiful and powerful when they discover something new or figure out how something works.

The brightness in their eyes, that is what we slowly lose as we grow older.

So can you keep that alive? Or is it inevitable that it will burn less bright as the years pass.

Thou true, I think even as adults tied to routine, partly a little disenchanted by life, we still light up like children do, when we do or talk about something we love and excited by. I see it in people, when you get them to talk about their hobbies or a book or movie they love.

Of course as adults you cannot just do what you like 24/7, bills to pay, chores to do and children to look after.

Some have advised me life changes when you take that excitment you have for the things you love, to everything else in your life. It is ambitious, true to some extent but I found it cannot be sustained.

Making everything fun and exciting is not only always possible but sometimes it takes far too much energy that it is quite exhausting.

I remember when I got back to work after maternity leave. I used to think my days with my daughter must be filled with much fun and joy. Keeping the excitement level up after a few weeks gradually got harder. Because it is hard work keeping a toddler entertained😊

There are some days at work however I try, I cannot make it interesting. But you do it because it needs to be done and of course did I mention I get paid 😊

For years the fact my job wasn’t my passion used to thwart me. May be there were times when I should have walked away and followed my writing… I don’t know.

Some people are lucky to earn a living and dedicate their life to their passion or what they love. But not all of us are. And face it they also have their crappy, hard days and at times bored or frustrated. I remember my teacher at a Writting Course I attended, who is an Author said this about her writing career.

A thought that appeases my mind, imagine how will a society function? if we all only do what we love. What about all the mundane jobs that is necessary for a society to function efficiently.

This is not me telling you not to follow your dreams…I am only sharing my experience.

Because it took me a while to know what I really wanted to do, by then I had built a career, that facilitated a life style and another passion of mine then. Once I nearly did leave to follow what I thought was my passion. But stayed because I was offered a role I really wanted.

Now I am in a place, where my job is enabling me to explore my writing passion and support my family. My current role is challenging, that I am growing as a person.

This is the beauty of getting older, your perceptions of life mature and you care less about other’s perceptions. I am beginning to see life is fluid and it plateaus. Acceptance of it gives you the mind frame to not let yourself feel down, each time the waves dip.

Discovering however small or big, things you love doing or that make you feel alive and filling much of your life with it, does keep the light in your eyes bright.

This is why I truly believe in my first post where I talked about tapping into your younger self.

Tap into that child… And regain your dreams and curiosity for life, so you can discover your passions now. Whether fleeting or imaginary some of your childhood dreams were. It will take you on a path of discovery. Because it is all about trying remember what made you happy and excited. I remember I wanted life to be fun, joyful, filled with love, journey of discovery and about family.

You discover aspects of yourself that you had forgotten. I realised most of mine were centered around being creative, I wanted to be fashion designer while I looked like my favourite heroine 😊. A lot of my play was imagination, as I played out my favorite TV shows with my siblings.

As I got older I discovered expressions via words captivated me. I immersed myself in world of books. This where my passion for writing began unknowingly and ever so subtly.

Going back to that child helps me come back to create, a life I want to live now.

Life, it’s journey unique to each, yet with commonality. Roads may differ, as we travel and at times we meet at crossroads. but beginning and end feels the same for all…

A quote by Moi😊