Self Talk

 

Observe your “self talk”

Have you heard of this term before?

It is simply the conversations you have with yourself on a daily basis, the unspoken dialogue ….

Based on the nature of your conversation, it has a major impact on your mental well-being. The power of thoughts though intangible have a strong tangible impact on our lives.

Naturally the ones to watch out for are the negative ones, not just the ones directed at others especially where you are judging others, but equally or more damaging, are the perceptions you hold of yourself … the name calling.

Most of us have heard the term “you are your own worst critic”, there is so much truth to it and sadly it has consequences.

This why the below quote is one of my favorite…how profound.

“You can’t win in your life, if you are losing in your mind ” Anonymous

I used to be really good at listening and observing, this self talk. But in the last few years, I had neglected it and slowly a certain dialogue started to become an underlying theme. Sadly not a good one… Of course the situation I found myself as I have been told certainly had a lot to do with it.. Being first time parents…

I have been critical at myself before and have had failures but through awareness and the will to be happy I rebuilt myself each time. But this journey has been a whole different ball game. Each time you figure it out and feel some what on top of it, in regard to being a good parent … It all changes 😊 Because your children are evolving faster than you are learning and worse their nature is temperamental especially the toddler years. To top it off becoming a mum unearthed in me some fears and insecurities that I thought I had sorted out already.

The other part of this journey is doubting your parenting decisions. Because in this day and age, the one thing we have in abundance is information, most of which is useless and at our fingers tips. You can just about google anything. ..Right? This also adds to doubting yourself.

Then you see other parents and there is plenty of advice being thrown around and comparisons….. We certainly have made parenting so complicated.

For me when I started doubting myself in this role and being unaware I started doubting myself in other areas. Then I found myself in moments where anxiety and fear was so overwhelming, that I could not recognize the person staring back at me in the mirror.

Then I truly began missing the old me and a voice tried to speak, nearly muffled by all the noise in my head. “I am here” it said and I recognized something strong in that voice. This is when I observed, most of the noise – the chatter, was full of criticism and it had become the norm.

But this recognition wasn’t enough, I had to take the brave step of acknowledging my fears and insecurities and looking at their root cause.

I am finding myself again. Learning to accept the journey of parenthood, for what it is. Accepting what my sisters often point out, that I am too harsh on myself as a parent.

Most importantly being kind to myself in my dialogue within….Reminding  myself I am in charge at least in regard to my inner mechanics!

My first award 😘

My first Liebster Award!

Thank you dreamydamselblog for the nomination. Check out her Blog she has a lot of interesting things to say!

I will do my best to comply with the rules below😳

The rules :

  1. Thank the blogger who nominated you.
  2. Share 11 facts about yourself
  3. Answer 11 question blogger gave you
  4. Nominate bloggers who deserve the award
  5. Create 11 original question for the nominees to answer
  6. let them know that they have been nominated.

11 Facts about myself :

1. I am forever grateful to have been born to my parents.

2. Being a mum is probably the most challenging experience of my life. I am humbled by this labour of love.

3. My favourite outings are movies and long brunches.

4. A caramel latte is my go to “pick me upper”.

5. I await for moments of profoundness when something I hear, read or see gives me a new way of thinking or looking at something.

6. I am such a physical person, in that I feel energy more than words and I love my physical comforts.

7. Power of love and compassion move me.

8. Some of my favorite books – Eat, Pray, Love, Buddha by Deepack Chopra, Alchemist and Forty Rules of Love.

9. I love to travel and planning my next holiday is a motivator in my life.

10. I love island  holidays.

11. But Europe was the most exciting and inspiring travel experience.

11 questions :

(1) One thing without which you cant survive ? what u will do if it is taken from you? My sleep, I used to need the standard 7-8 hours, now reduced to 6 hours on a good day as a mum. I have no choice in this but my husband looks after her at nights mostly 😘. So I can get my 6 hrs

(2) Why do you blog? Writing is a passion, a form of expression that liberates me.

(3) Do u believe in destiny ? Yes and no. I believe some things may be pre destined but not everything, your attitude governs the overall summation of your life.

(4) Do u like to be always in your comfort zone or come out of it and explore new things. I love variety in life but that doesn’t mean I am a daredevil. I like my thresholds.

(5) If could swap your life with someone who would it be? No body because I have yet to meet or know of someone, whose life I want fully.

(6) Do u live to eat or eat to live ? Both based on how I am feeling.

(7) What keeps you motivated? Growth of my soul, creativity and inspiration.

(8) What happiness means to you? When my mind is at peace, I see acts of kindness and goodness in people, without regard to each others differences. I feel hope for us as a human race.

(9) What is your most dearest passion? Writing and interior decorating.

(10) One decision U regret the most? what are doing to change it. I let what others wanted of me dictate my choices. It could have cost me everything but luckily I woke up in time to take ownership of my life & decisions in regard to it. 

(11) Who is your go to person – my husband, parents and my sisters.

My questions for my nominees

1. What did you want to be when you were a child? Are you some what close in regard to it?

2. What’s your earliest memory?

3. What do you like most and dislike about yourself as a person?

4. What’s your favorite travel destination?

5. What is your favorite book?

6. Are you a romantic?

7-11. In the years you have lived on earth, what will be your top 5 life lessons you have learnt?

My nominees :

  1. https://noisyconfusionoflife.wordpress.com
  2. https://hareninimalan.wordpress.com
  3. https://simpleula.com
  4. https://tishadventures.com
  5. https://becomingmalaika.wordpress.com
  6. https://secretlifeofawife43ver.wordpress.com

Photo challenge- A quaint little place

Don’t you love the unplanned Sunday’s, when you get a little time on your hand and you discover something beautiful..

That’s how we discovered this retro cafe in Dural, The Fig Coffee House. We have driven past it a few times, my husband had noticed the sign. From the street view you cannot see the cafe and this area is popular for Nurseries with attached cafes. But we were in for a surprise.

The actual building was a Hexagon shape, which I have never seen before. Sadly I couldn’t capture it in my photos. The place originally might have been an old farmstead, the initial bricks maintained.

It was vibrant and laid back at the same time. A water feature flowing down the skylight, to the verandah…. An old style piano, waiting to be played…A lemonade stand outside, a touch of country town fair.

We sat outside, the autumn sun was still keeping us warm. A 70th birthday party was happening in the courtyard. Families together celebrating…it truly was picturesque…

All about Lines

The game…

We all partake in a game, where the aim is to be the same.

Like you, I did not have a choice just like my name.

We are born and for a few years we are our own. It doesn’t last long, till we begin to strive to be the same.

I do not mean to maime… But from your parents to schools, born within social & legal rules, society subtely tames you to be the same.

So when did I have a chance to say “No, I don’t want to be part of the game.”

Through the years once in a while I rebelled, a voice within whispered “this is not you”. I felt an uneasiness but I continued, as it’s easy to be the same.

So I play the game till my soul is tired and fatigued.

Time passed, I became an adult, in what society defined, held a job and married, yet my life was not fully mine.

Reminences of me still stir within, as I see the ruins around me of a life I supposedly built.

I tried to mend it by turning to spirituality and finding myself.

It was soul enriching for a while, I found solace and felt belonged with people on the same journey as mine.

So I had thought…

In time I realised they wanted me to also play a game, where I aim to be their version of the “same”, ever so pure and holier than thou.

I resisted and held onto my uniqueness, but not for long. I got sucked into the pure loving beings they portrayed themselves to be…

Then one day I wanted to follow my heart and be true to myself… and suddenly I was no longer their “same.”

Not meaning to blame… but when I became nothing in their eyes, I felt the shackles I had worn through my life fall away and I truly was free.

Only then did I stop being part of any Game, that wanted me to be the Same.

Sliding Doors

Have you ever thought of mapping your life in parallel, to the life you would have had, if you had chosen the “what ifs” of your life.

Map it from the time you were born, make a timeline of the crucial moments or events in your life. Where you felt you were at a crossroad and there was a choice. Sometimes the choice was not yours to make, as life just happened….

So where will you be now? Will you be somewhere better or worse? Are you more fulfilled and happier?

Take your time write it or draw it, like the branches of a tree… Let the forks symbolise the paths that laid before you…

But remember each time you alter the path taken, now with foresight. You also alter the choices for the next crucial moments. This includes the favourable outcomes in your life and even the presence of people you love and who love you in your life. Are you okay with that?

Basically your two lives will continue parallely, without ever merging.

It is easy to fantacise and procastinate about the what ifs, especially where there are heavy regrets. But sometimes it is through a painful experience, you were led to your profound moments and the people in your life who gave it meaning.

Well having said all this, to this day there is one regret in my life that I would change if I could travel back in time. This regret plagued me for a long time but even now a tiny part of me thinks altering the past incident would still not affect how my future turned out.

The question I’m likely to face if I alter the incident, is would I have married my husband and become a mother?

This event brought the walls down on me and as a result it made me take full ownership of my life.

So what if this incident didn’t occur?… Well, I feel there was a likely chance I would have run away when I realised I was falling in love with my husband, whom I was just friends with at that time.

I was done with having my heart broken. Even if I didn’t run, I’m not sure I would’ve had the strength to withstand the storm from others, especially his parents.

This incident made me learn two valuable lessons:

  • not to live life from the sidelines, and
  • ultimately only you are responsible for your life.

So now days, however enticing, I try and avoid thinking about the “what ifs” in my life. I live my life with all my history and with less regrets, because they have made me who I am today.

May my wishes become true

If I came across a Genie in a bottle, I would set him or her free so he or she could grant me three wishes.

Will it be enough you ask…

Yes it will be with careful thought…

Wish 1: Unlike the beauty pageant contestants, I will not ask for world peace but instead to remove hatred and greed from the human heart… So there will be less violence and wars.

Wish 1 sub-section 1: Poverty to vanish not by swift wave of the wand but by plentiful that now exists because we are no longer greedy, so we will not hoard.. And take only what we need…

Wish 2: Humans to be endowed with an intuition which sees each others commonality first, before the differences.

Wish 2 sub-section 2: To see the differences valued as one’s gift. No more the squares to squeeze everyone in. But having the foresight to utilise our differences as strengths.

Wish 3: the cycle of pain to end… to not hurt others because we have been hurt, whether emotionally or physically. Truly giving our children a chance bring forth a new world.

There is no subsection to Wish 3 because I don’t know what more to wish for. I think these three will bring forth many other wishes that need no Genie to make true because we as humans will.. …

Māori creation traditions – Weekly photo challenge

Nature always brings a Smile to my face and on this trip to New Zealand I learnt of the Māori creation story, which my husband had heard at the conference he attended while there.

Although various tribes tell different versions of the creation story, there are some themes in common. Most describe movement from Te Kore (nothingness) to something, and from Te Pō (darkness) to Te Ao (light).

The separation of earth and sky

In the beginning Ranginui (the sky) and Papatūānuku (the earth) were joined together, and their children were born between them in darkness. The children decided to separate their parents, to allow light to come into the world. After this, the children became gods of various parts of the natural world. https://teara.govt.nz/en/maori-creation-traditions

But the the parents, “Earth and the Sky” like star crossed lovers are in an eternal dance of trying to reunite …I thought this was such a beautiful romantic notion of nature. So I took a few photos of these star crossed lover’s in their eternal dance😃